What is it with men and sex?

When we got the results of the Consumer Reports sex survey last month, I was floored by some of the answers—especially the disparity in the responses from men and women.

For example, 56 percent of the men in our nationally representative sample of 1,000 U.S. adults said that they think about sex at least once a day. The figure for women? Just 19 percent.

Some of my colleagues weren’t surprised. But I think many of the men might have just been playing macho, giving the responses they thought the survey people wanted to hear, while the women were naturally being more reserved. After all, many people still aren’t comfortable talking about sex, our survey suggests. For example, 27 percent of the women and 16 percent of the men wouldn’t answer whether they had sex in the past year.

But then again, maybe men really are more interested than women in the subject. For example, my husband, who never lasts more than an hour in any art museum, practically had to be pried away from the exhibits after two hours at The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction during our visit to Indiana University in Bloomington last fall. And more men than women in our survey said that sex was very important to them.

That disconnect between men and women can sometimes lead to trouble. For example, Julia Heiman, Ph.D., director of The Kinsey Institute, recently studied what happens to relationships when men start taking erectile-dysfunction drugs such as sildenafil (Viagra). “Sometimes there’s a whole lot of resentment built up over the years,” Heiman says. “He starts taking Viagra, she gets irritated. She gets worried.” For other women, however, the “ability to have sex is important and valuable,” she says. In fact, some women have been tempted to take Viagra themselves even though it has not been shown to be effective for most women.

The bottom line, Heiman says, is determining how important sex is to you and your relationship. “At least talk it over with your partner and see how it’s affecting” him or her. “That can communicate that you care about this and you’re going to give it some attention,” she says.

And, ladies (and gentlemen), what could be a better Valentine’s Day present than that?

—Sue Byrne, senior editor

Read more of our sex survey, and take a look at the 6 top reasons our respondents gave for not having sex. 

Comments

[Craig]

It's called "testosterone". Sue Byrne should try a month of testosterone therapy and see what it does to HER behavior and thought processes before writing an article about it. It's been done many times before.

NPR did a "This American Life" about it.

It's well documented that testosterone increased female libido:

http://www.examiner.com/x-724-Health-News-Examiner~topic52554-testosterone-treatment

[Bron]

Only 56%? Sounds low to me.