Talking cars with teens

Empowering your teen to be safe behind the wheel depends on a foundation of good parenting, not just rules, as was expressed recently at the 2008 Lifesavers Conference. Held in Portland, Oregon, numerous seminars at this annual safety event dealt with serious issues concerning teenagers, driving, and drinking. Participants included representatives of SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions), MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving), AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety, the National Safety Council, and numerous government officials and academics.

From the deep immersion in automotive safety and teen risks, we assembled the following tips and advice to help families send their young drivers down the right road.

Lecturing doesn’t work. Teens have heard all the sermons before.

Keep the messages positive. Point out how mutual respect works in everyone’s self-interest.

Teach your kids to listen by listening to what they have to say.

Set a good example. If you don’t buckle up, why would they? If they see you drinking and driving, they’ll think it’s OK.

Look at your own drinking habits. What do they say about you?

Talk and listen positively and persistently. Don’t throw in the towel.

Read between the lines. Some things are hard to say directly.

Try to understand the teen’s world.

Praise your kids for doing little things, the sort of things you might think are taken for granted.

Lighten up. Let there be humor, whenever possible.

If you’re looking for a solution to a behavior issue, ask the teens what they think should be done.

Use logic and love.

Talk about results as the consequence of decisions rather than actions. Good decisions get good results.

Give teens the power to make decisions. That way, teens can feel they’re taking control of their own lives, acting responsibly because they want to.

Don’t be afraid to say no or set boundaries.

Thorough driving instruction can help prepare teens to be lawful, responsible motorists, however it takes living the values you espouse to nurture safe, courteous drivers.

Learn more about kids and car safety in our special section.

—Gordon Hard

Comments

[Cale]

Some of this advice sounds like how we ended up with Gen-Y attitudes. Pampered, rewarded for showing-up, and self-absorbed. Kids have never wanted to be lectured yet there's a reason for lecturing, it passes along important information.

The reason kids tune out the message (they've heard all the sermons before...) is because adults constantly step in to "save" the kids from the consequences of not listening. Maybe we should pass along the message and not be so concerned about whether they're listening. If you do that before you they reach driving age, they'll get used to the idea that listening is important.