Tips for a safe prom night

For some, "prom night" is an American rite of passage, famous for teens' jumping off the behavioral deep end. This is a time when well-worked-out parental boundaries are put to their severest test. Many parents face formidable adversaries: peer pressure, hormones, and others' expectations. But parents can do many things to keep prom night safe—free of drugs, alcohol and other risky behavior—without wrecking the night for everyone concerned.

For everyone to survive said prom night (and to minimize the number of parental gray hairs), the name of the game is foreknowledge. This means know your kids, their friends, and, most of all, their plans. Make a list of their friends' parents’ phone and cell numbers, and talk with other parents well before the big night. Double-check the plans for the night: Is he/she attending the prom alone, with a date, or with a group? Is there a pre-party planned? An after-prom party? Where? And have an agreed-upon curfew. Make sure everyone’s cell phones are powered-up and ready to go.

All-night post-prom parties are popular. Make sure they occur in a setting you approve of, such as at the school or a YMCA gym. If it's at a private house, make sure there is to be an adequate adult presence and no alcohol or drugs.

Under no circumstance should it be acceptable for the teen to ride with a driver who is under the influence. To eliminate drunk-driving problems, you and other parents might chip in for a limo. Or maybe line up a designated driver (acceptable to all concerned) to shuttle the kids around in your car. In any case, make sure your teen has cab fare, and a cab company phone number, in case of need. Make sure the teen truly feels free to call home—at any time of the night or early morning—for a ride or other assistance without fearing repercussions.

The nonprofit Century Council, an organization dedicated to eliminating drunk driving, has these additional tips:

Work with the school to have food served during the prom.

Know all the "hot spot" destinations.

Take stock of the alcohol in your home.

Know who is driving—if it's a limo, check their policy on alcohol in the vehicle.

Discuss the school's prom rules with your teen and the consequences for violating them.

Encourage (and demand) seat-belt use—the best fashion accessory.

Do not rent hotel rooms for prom-goers.

Communicate with other parents and school officials.

Stay up for prom-goers' return home.

For suggestions on how to manage a prom party at your house, read the advice at FamilyEducation.com.

—Gordon Hard